When I was a young dummy I always enjoyed the thrill of a good scare. Being lifelike in quality allows a dummy like myself to position oneself in an opportune location, where an unsuspecting passerby would be startled by my "sudden" presence. It's sort of the dummy version of prank calling (not having vocal cords limits the types of pranks we can pull). My crash test buddies and I were a little immature (i.e., mean) and used to pull this prank on the old folks who toured our auto plant. My homedummy, DLX, literally scared the teeth out of this one, poor grandmother once. Her dentures rattled in fear on the floor for a few minutes after the shriek of terror!

I know, it was evil. This dummy has left behind his childish, dummy ways.

The good news is that the "grandmothers" have evened the score. A thief in Milan (Italy, for you map-challenged, dummies) accidentally dropped his phone while snatching the purse of a 77-year old woman. When the woman turned the phone over to the police, they called the thief and pretended to have "found" his phone. Thus, the thief was arrested at the "meeting" to reunite him with his cell.

I guess, the robber got his cell back and added another. Call it a two-for-the-price-of-one deal!

It always amazes me that my intelligence was programmed by humans, when that misfortunate species has representatives such as this. It's enough to make a dummy wish he were a porcelain cat instead! At least then I'd have low expectations and not feel so bad about meeting them.