Now here's a story that makes a dummy feel a little more mentally competent.

In England, a man was recently convicted of not only driving without a license, but also driving without the use of his eyes. That's right. The felon in reference here is physically, legally, and literally blind! During his court hearing, he said that he was just trying to determine how well he could drive.

Uhh, yeah...I may be a lifeless, immobile dummy, but I'm pretty sure driving is best done with ocular vision. Granted, my research is limited here, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that driving ability is directly related to seeing ability. Call me a dummy, if you will, but I'm no fool. You won't see me hopping behind the wheel of one of those steel nightmares any time soon. Of course, it's taken me years of therapy to get over the haunting memories of growing up as a crash test dummy. Just thinking about it now makes my plastic skin shiver. The next time you ride in your car, just remember that us dummies have sacrificed life (and several limbs) to keep you safe.

And for dummy's sake, remember today's lesson: friends don't let friends drive blind!