Ever made a promise that was contigent upon something unthinkable happening?
If so, did the unthinkable happen, causing you to really scramble to live up to your end of the bargain?

Well, it did for Randy Gonigam, a furniture salesman and nutzo, Chicago Bears fan. Randy made an unwise promise that any furniture sold over Labor Day (up to $10,000) would be FREE, if the Bears shut out the Packers on opening day of football. Randy thought he'd have the last laugh since Packer QB Brett Favre had never been held scoreless, but what he didn't fully comprehend was that the Packers stink like last week's cheese!

So, Mister Freebie had to refund $300,000 worth of furniture when da Bears won 26-0! Thankfully, he had enough sense to cover himself with insurance in advance. However, some sense and common sense are not the same thing. I doubt there are furniture salesmen that are willing to make that "generous" (i.e., dumb) an offer.

Of course, for all those shoppers who spent more on furniture than they probably would have, you suckers got lucky this time. Just watch out for Old Lady Fate next time. She's ugly and vindictive, and she attacks your wallet like a credit card with no preset limit!

We dummies make it a policy to not bet, unless some idiot wants to challenge one of us in a stare-off. You could throw a dump truck at me, and I still wouldn't blink!

Today's lesson is: I guess it's better to be a stationary dummy, than a dim-witted promisemaker.